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About Bedrock democrat. (Baker City, Baker County, Or.) 1870-188? | View Entire Issue (March 24, 1875)
Mow io Contiti et a Courtship. D on’t be too sudden about it. Many • a girl has said “ no” v/lien she meant “ yes,” simply because her lover didn’t choose the right time and pop the question gently. Take a dark night for it, Have the blinds closed, the curtains down, and the lamp turned most out. bit near enough to her so that you can hook { your little finger into hers. Wait un til conversation begins to .flag, and then quietly remark: “ Susie, I want to ask yon some thing.” She will fidget around a little, reply “ yes,” and after a pause you can add: “ Susie, my actions must have shown—you must have—I mean you must be aware that—that—” Pause here for a while, but keep your finger firmly locked. She may cough and try to turn the subject off by asking you bow you liked the cir cus, but she only does it to encour age you. After aboilt ten minutes you can 'continue: “ I was thinking, as I came up the path to-night, that before I went away I would ask ycu —that i3, I would broach the subject nearest my —I mean, I would know' my—” Stop again and give her hand a gentle squeeze. She may give a yank . to get it away or she may not. In either case it augurs well for you. Wait about five minutes and then go on: “ The past year has been a very happy one to me, but I hope that fu ture 3rear3 will still be happier. How ever, that depends entirely on you. I am here to night to know—that is to ask you—I mean, I anl here to night to hear from your own lips the one sweet—” Wait again. It isn’t best to be too rash about such things. Give her plenty of time to recover her com posure, and then put your hand on your heart aud continue: “ Yes, I thought, as I was coming through the gate to-night how hap- - py I had been; and I said to myself that if I only knew j7ou would con sent to be my— that is, I said if I only knew—if I was only certain that my heart had not deceived me, and you were ready to share—” Hold on; there’s no hurry about it. Give the wind a chance to sob and moan around the gables. This will make her lonesome arid call up all the love in her heart. When she be gins to cough, and grow restless, you can go on: Before I met you this world was a desert to me. I didn’t take any pleasure ill going blackberrying and stealing rare>ripe peaches, and it didn’t matter whether the sun shone or not. But what a change in one short year! It is for you to say whether my future shall be a prairie of happiness, or, a summer fallow of Canadian thistles. Speak dearest Susie; and say—and say—that— that—” • Give her five minutes more by the clock, and then add: “ That you will be—that is, that you will—I mean, that you will be —mine!” She will heave a sigh, look up at the clock and over the stove, and the as she slides her head over your vest pocket she will whisper: “ You are just right—I will.” —Ter ritorial Enterprise. repentence can expiate or extenu ate.” The Philadelphia Telegraph, an other Republican paper, says the bill is a measure of the worst type, and that its adoption is sought that the Carpetbag element may tighten its grasp on the Southern throat,and says: “ If the Republican party attempts to sustain these men in their infa mous schemes, nothing but disaster is before it.” The Boston Journal also Repub lican says that it is too hazardous a measure for any but belligerent times and objects to it because there is “ no earthly need of it if the pres ent Republican Congress does its duty.’1,. The Philadelphia Enquirer anoth er Republican journal, says: •‘Suspending the habeas corpus and making United States Deputy Marshals sole judges of elections, sole counters and recorders of re turns, with absolute and unquestion able power to arrest any and every one before or at elections whom they wish to prevent voting, are things which would seem more appropriate for Russia and Austria than the United States.” A P a t e n t F r a u d . —It is very pos sible that the Grangers are too much disposed to View all subjects, from the standpoint of their own interests and that they7 are not always alto gether reasonable in the demands they make upon the country. But there is one subject of their com plaints in which they have the hearty sympathy of the entire people with them, except that of the privileged class, who are being benefited at the expense of all the rest. We refer to the patent nuisance—for a nuisance it has cortainly come to be. No well informed person will be disposed to deny to genius the right of property in its creations, and we do not understand the Grangers as objecting to a just and judicions sys tem of patents which will secure this end, and afford encouragement to the development of native talent?- and stimulation to the ingenuity and the inventive faculties of the people. It is the abuse of the system against which they protest. It is notorious that in the great majority of instan ces the actual invenior reaps little or no advantage from his invention. It is the speculator in the inventor’s ingenuity, for whose benefit the peo ple are so heavily taxed. This is a great injustice, but it is an injustice, perhaps inseparable from the system and one which human wisdom is in» adequate absolutely to correct. The unjust and unprofitable burden would therefore be cheerfully borne for the sake of the occasional good that comes from it, if it were not that the greed of the speculator i3 such that it can never be appeased. Hav ing bought from some needy inven tor the creation of his ingenuity lor a mere song, he is enabled to reap in the liberal period during which the patent law'secures to him the monoply of it; but when that period expires he demands an extension of it again, on the most frivolous pre texts or on no pretext at ail. And unfortunately a profitable patent has always heretofore been able to com mand so powerful a lobby that it was suite of a compliance with its de» mands. W a r in t h e R e p u b l ic a n C a m p , — We hail with pleasure the slightest The Quincy Herald says,the attempts indication that tha rule of monopo of the Administration Republicans lists is to be broken; and we trust that to assist the President to a third term the recent action of Congress deny by the passage of the infamous mea ing the application for the extension sure known as the “ political b ill,” is of sundry petty patents on the ma- meeting with strong opposition from 'chinery of. sewing machines is an moderate Republicans everywhere indication of this sort, W ocongrat and from the majority of the Repub ulate the Grangers upon this evi licaa papers of the North. The ad- dence of their influence, and we hope ministration has found in the past they will continue to.exert .it until week that the fighting against the still further relief is-granted. Sew proposed bill will not ba done by ing machines of American make can Democrats, but that a large repre to day be bought in London at one- sentation of Republicans will open half the price they cost at home, b e their batteries .upon the scheme cause the patents which load them which is intended to deprive the peo down here are of no effect there. The ple of the South of their rights and same thing is true of almost every to continue Mr, Grant in power. The kinclof agricultural implement which bill is denounced by respectable Re the manufacturers manage to keep publicans as unnecessary, as odious constantly encumbered with patents, in the extreme, and as dangerous to at the expense of the farmer. the country. The leading members Of course, as soon as the people of Congress who are not committed, begin to assert their rights, and to bodily to the administration oppose refuse to submit longer to the extor it; the mass of Republican voters in tions of the monopolists, we shall the North oppose it; newpapers that have the most impassioned appeals are not run entirely in the oineehotd- made on behalf of impoverished and ing interest oppose it. The bill orig struggling genius; and the men who inated with the carpet-bag Republic drive the sharpest bargains with gen ans of the South and is advocated by ius, and who care nothing for it, Southern Republicans, who have no so far as they can coin it into gold, earthly prospect of holding their will be loudest in their expressions offices without aid from Washington of sympathy with its wrongs. If the by Postmasters and Collectors, and real beneficiaries of the patent laws those who do the bidding of the were the inventors themselves, the President in return for the privilege people would not have cause to com of holding office. The infamous plain of their unreasonableness, or scheme, may ba forced upon the their importunity, for it is rare to country. If so, it will damn the ad find genius associated with a merce ministration and the party forever. nary disposition. But the practical The leading newspapers that do not effect of these laws, as we have said blindly follow the President are be is, nine times out of ten, to enrich ginning to see that if Congress yields only the speculators in the brainwork to the demands of the carpet-bagger of others. We trust that the Grangers will and passes the bill, the party will be buried so deep that it will never persevere in the’good work they have know a political resurrection. The begun. We need not caution them Republican press furnishes some in to restrain their opposition to the teresting reading now for the Presi patent system within moderate and dent, Morton, Logan and the Carpet reasonable bounds. Thejr own good baggers. The New York Mail, a use will tell them that the object for Republican paper warns the leaders which the system was instituted is a that if they knew of no other way to good one, and ought to be fostered. save-the party than by sowing broad They will readily see too that some cast over the South the seeds of an abuses in it are almost unavoidable, other civil war, they had better and these they will make up ^their “ seek friendly oblivion beneath the minds to submit to, forbearing to waters of the Potomac,” and predicts weed out the tares lest they should that “ within twTelve months they will pluck up the wheat also. But there not only be buried fathomless depth are great abuses which ought not to beneath the most terrible tidal wave be submitted to, which can be cor1 that ever swept this land, but they rected with great benefit to the peo will.be accused by their own friends j ple, and the correction of which will as false leaders, whose blindness no do harm only to the vampires who K adway ’ s R eady R elief CUKES THE WORST PAINS IN FROM ONE TO TWENTY MINUTES. f^O T It is time to stop talking about the softening influence of .women. A Massachusetts man who has four wives has just been sent to the pen itentiary for stealing horses. A Dubuque boy was rather troub led for fear that he would not know his father when they both reached heaven, but his mother eased him by remarking: “ All you Lave to do is to look for an angel with a red nose on him. R A D W A Y ’S R E A D Y R E L I E F IS A CURE FOR EVERY PAIN. It was the first and is THE ONLY PAIN REMEDY That instantly stops the most excrimiating rains ana^-s ln- Dr. J. W alker’s California Vinegar Bitters are a purely Veg etable preparation, made chiefly from the native herbs found on the lower ranges o f the Sierra Nevada mountains o f California, the medicinal properties o f which are extracted therefrom with out the use o f A lcohol. The question is almost daily asked, “ What is the cause o f the unparalleled success o f V in e g a r B it t e r s ? ” Our answer is, that they remove the cause o f disease, and the patient recovers his health. They are the great blood purifier and a life-giving principle, a perfect Reno vator and Invigorator o f the system. Never before in the history o f the world has a medicine been com pounded pos sessing the remarkable qualities of V i n e g a r B i t t e r s in healing the sick o f every disease. They are a gentle Purgative as well as a Tonic, relieving Congestion or Inflammation of the Liver and Visceral Organs, in Bilious Diseases. T h e p r o p e r t i e s o f D r . W a l k e r ’ s B i t t e r s are Aperient, Dia phoretic, Nutritious, Laxative, Diu retic, Sedative, Counter-Irritant, Su dorific, Alterative, and Anti-Bilious. V in e g a r It. IT. McBOKALD < & CO., Druggists & Gten.Agts., San Francisco, Califor nia, Jr cor. of Whasington & Cliarlton Sts.,N.Y. Sold b y all D r u g g is ts a n d D e a l e r s . August 19. 1874, nl5lv THE RADWAY’S READY RELIEF W ILL AFFORD INSTANT EASE. INFLAMMATION OF a THE a ™ Y | , th e INFLAMMATION OF THE BOWELS, ^ SORE .THROAT, ^ B R E M I I M ^ HEART, HYSTERICS, CROUP, INFLUENZA, HEADACHE, TOOTHACHE, ^ ^ ^ RHEUMATIgM> COLD CHILLS, AGUE CHILLS. The application of the R E A D Y R E L I E F to the part or parts where the pain or difficulty exists w ill afford ease and comfort. „ .... - __ Twenty drops i-n half a tumbler ments cure CRAMPS, SPASMS, SOUR STOMACH, SICK HEADACHE, HEARTBURN, D IA R R H E A ,!P ^ E N T E R Y , COLIC, W IN D IN THE BOWELS, and all INTERNAL PAINS. Travelers should always carry a bottle of R a i l w a y ’ » R e a d y R e l i e f with them. A few drops in water will pre vent sickness or pains from change of water. It is better than French Brandy or Bitters as a stimulant. AUD FEVER AGUE. FEVER AND AGUE cured for fiftv cents. There is net a remedial agent in this world that will cure Fever and Ague, and all other Malarious, Bilious, Scarlet, Typhoid, Yellow, and ether Fevers (aided bv R A D W A Y ’S PILLS) so quick as R A D W A Y ’S READY RELIEF. Fifty cents per bottle. Sold by Druggists. IlEALTH! BEAUTY! ! STRONG AND PURE RICH BLOOD—INCREASE OF FLESH AND WEIGHT—CLEAR SKIN AND BEAU TIFUL COMPLEXION SECURED TO ALL. D r . R A D W A I T ’S Sarsaparillian Resolvent, UNEQUALLED Every Day an Increase in Flesh, and "Weight is Seen and Felt. T H E G R EA T BLOOD P U R IFIER . eezutì P IA N O S These Superb Instruments have achieved a success unparalleled in the history of Piano-forte Manufacture. They are remarkable for Great Volume, Purity and Sweetness o f Tone, and Durability. THE CELEBRATED Every drop of the SARSAPARILLIAN RESOLVENT communicates through the Blood, Sweat, Urine, and other fluids and juices of the system the vigor of life, for it repairs the wastes of the body with new and sound material. Scrof ula, Syphilis, Consumption, Glandular disease, Ulcers in the Throat, Mouth, Tumors, Nodes in the Glands and other parts of the system, Sore Eyes, Strumous Discharges^rom the Ears, and the worst forms of Skin diseases,-Eruptions, Fever Sores, Scald Head, Ring-Worm, Salt Rheum, Erysipelas, Acne, Black Spots, Worms in the Flesh, Tumors, Cancers in the Womb, and all weakening an# painful discharges,. Night Sweats, Loss of Sperm, and all wastes of the life prin ciple, are within the curative range of this wonder of Modern Chemistry, and a few days’ use will prove to any person using it for either of these forms of disease its potent power to cure them. If the patient, daily becoming reduced by the wastes and decomposition that is continually progressing, succeeds in ar resting these wastes, aud repairs the same with new material made from healthy blood—and this the SARSAPAR1LLIAN will and does se«ure. Not only does the S arsaparili . ian R esolvent excel ali known remedial agents in the cure of Chronic, Scrofulous, Constitutional, and Skin diseases j but it is the only positive cure for KIDNEY AND BLADDER COMPLAINTS, Urinary and Womb diseases, Gravel, Diabetes, Dropsy, Stop page of Water, Incontinence of Urine, Bright’ s Disease, Albu minuria, and in all caees where there are brickdust deposits, or the water is thick, cloudy, mixed with substances like the white of an egg, or threads like white silk, or there is a mor bid, dark, bilious appearance, and white bonedust deposits, and when there is a pricking, burning sensation when passing water, and pain in the Small of the Back and along the Loins. Price, $1.00. WORMS. The only known and sure Remedv for WORMS—PIN. TAPE, etc. ORGANS w The Most Desirable Instruments in the market for church and parlor. Over 2 8,GOO now in use. SHERM AN S l H Y B E , ' G E N E R A I, A G E N T S , SAN FRANCISCO.- PRE&r. % KÎ^O.H.BOdART V^RH-SÜSHET' ^"^dornerJPine AiSamome Streets, S a n F r a iic is c o C a lifo rn ia C a p it a ! (PaM up in Qol[l)$S 0 0 5 0 0 0 A would-be school teacher in T o1- ledo recent!?7 replied to a question by one of the examiners. “ Do you think the world is round or flat ?” by saying, “ Well, some people think one way and some another, and I ’ll teach them round or flat just as the parents please.” S u r p lu s Fund(iaG-oM)2 0 6 ,1 1 0 Ti-m sisacte e v e r y Es 2 52cl o f t e g is in s a ic Ha.SEii.ii2g ISsssisaess. B U Y S A W © ¡S H W L S on the principal Cities of the United States and Europe. I S S U E S C E B 'S H f I C A T E S © E 1 M i S ? © ® ! 7! 1 available at all commercial and financial points. ES5JWS A W © S E M S National, State, City and Countv Bonds. S IV V E S T i?S S i N riT S M A » E S on orders. « © 5 . 5 5 & S S U V S I S E U E E I O S i and I . E5 €3- A I . T E WS>JE SSg 1 »ought and sold. © 5 3 I i'©@irJL1 A C ® © f U J W § kept in Gold. Silver and Currency, and subject to check at pleasure. B TV T E SSE S'I’ P A I D on Time Deposits. e S J -M C T IO T g M A D E in S a a , Stesaaieise® and vicinity without charge, and at all other points at cost, and proceeds remitted at current rates ot Exchange. Even in the saloons, opinions up on grave subjects are expressed for cibly!1 A gentleman slightly under the influence of the intoxicating bowl furnished proof of this fact, a night or two ago. “ Whiskey, zur, he said, “ hie—brightens the intel lect. It- ought to be introduced inQ to the public schools, zur.” Tum or o f 1 2 Y e a r s ’ Growth Cured by R a d w a y’s Resolvent. D r. l A D W A Y 1^ Perfect Purgative Pills, perfectly tasteless, elegantly coated with sweet gum, purge, regulate, purify, cleanse, and strengthen. Radway’s Pills, for the cure of all disorders of the Stomach, Liver, Bowels, Kidneys, Bladder, Nervous Diseases, Headache, Constipation, Costiveness, Indigestion, Dyspepsia, Biliousness. Bilious Fe ver, Inflammation of the Bowels, Piles, and all Derangements of the Internal Viscera. Warranted to effect a positive cure. Purely Vegetable, containing no mercHry, minerals, or dele terious drugs. A few doses of RADW A Y ’S PILLS will free the system from all the above-named disorders. Price, 25 cents per box SOLD BY DRUGGISTS. * READ “ FALSE AND TRUE.” Send one letter stamp to R ADW AY & CO., No. 32 Warren Street, New York. Infor mation worth thousands will be sent you. August 19, 1874.nl5Iy SHERMAN & H YDE Cor. Kearny ana Sutter Sfs. SA N F R A N C IS C O , WHOLESALE AND RETAIL DEALERS IN S H E E T MUSIC, iVIusical Instruments, M U S IC A L , M E R C H A N D IS E . Orders from the Interior promptly filled. MANUFACTURERS OF THE IS H E R E B Y C t lV E N -f-N to ail those, who are in arrears with the Academy Company for tuition, to call on Mr W F_. McCrary, at the Post Office, and settle their accounts, and save COST Baker City, April 9, 1874. .Q . A H. BROWN, President. M A L L 'S VESETABLE SICILIAN H A IR BEBEWEB. Every year increases the popu larity of this valuable Hair Prep aration, which is due to merit alone. W e can assure our old pations that it is kept fully up to its high standard; and it is the on ly reliable and perfected prepara tion for restoring G r a y o r F a d e d H a i r to its youthful color, making it soft, lustrous, and silken. The scalp, by its use, becomes white and clean. It removes all eruptions and dandruff, and, by its tonic proper ties, prevents the hair from falling out, as it stimulates and nourishes the hair-glands. B y its use, the hair grows thicker and stronger. In baldness, it restores the capillary glands to their normal vigor, and will create a new growth, except in extreme old age. It is the most economical H a i r - D r e s s i n g ever used, as it requires fewer applica tions, and gives the hair a splendid, glossy appearance. A . A . Hayes, M .D., State Assayer o f Massachu setts, says, “ The constituents are pure, and carefully selected for ex cellent quality; and I consider it the B e s t P r e p a r a t i o n for its intended purposes.” P rice One D ollar. Buckingham’s Dye. FO R T H E W H IS K E R S , A s our Renewer in many eases requires too long a time, and too much care, to restore gray or faded Whiskers, we have prepared this dye, in one preparation , which will quickly and effectually accomplish this result. It is easily applied, and produces a color which 'will neither rub nor wash off. Sold by all Druggists. Price Fifty Cents. Manufactured by R. P. HALL &. C£>., r n i i e F a ll T e p a o f th e B a lte r Cit; 1 Academy will begin on the 1st day o September, 1873, under tbe supervision of S. P. BAEEETT, A. M., P r in c ip a l; assisted by M r s . B a r r e t t , as Preceptress. The Directors feel warranted in saying tha our School will fully maintain its presen high reputation under its present manage ment, and every effort will be made to ren der full satisfaction to our patrons. e Acknowledged by Musicians to be the Best Low Priced Instruments ever offered for sale on this Coast. S e ttle U p . N o tic e » E O I V E L E , M A S S ., V . S. A , F O R S A T .fi P.Y A L L D R U G G I S T S Ü Y E R Y W H E 1 ÍB . BAKER CITY ACADEMY. ou are H ereby Notified iliat , , .. ROYAL A. PIERCE. Rockbridge, Vis., Jan. 24, 1874.n34tf PREPARED BY Dr. J. C. AYER St, CO., Practical Chemists, N A S H U A , N .H . Notice to All Persons. Y F or the relief anu cure o f all derangements in the stomach, liv. er, and bowels. They are a mild aperient, and an .^excellent purga- five. Being pure ly vegetable, they contain no mer cu ry or mineral _ fe whatever. Much serious sickness and suffering is prevented by their timely u se; and every fam ily should have them on hand for their protection and relief, when required. L on g experience has p roved them to be the safest, surest, and best o f all the R ills with which the market abounds. B y their occasional use, the blood is purified, the corruptions o f the system ex pelled, obstructions rem oved, and the whole m achinery o f life restored to its healthy activ ity. Internal organs which becom e clogged and sluggish are cleansed by A y e r 's Rills, and stimulated into action. Thus incipient disease is changed into health, the value o f which change, when reckon ed on the vast multitudes w h o en joy it, can hardly he com puted. Their sugar-coating makes them pleasant to take, and preserves their virtues unim paired for any length o f time, so that they are ever fresh, and perfectly reliablo. A lthough searching, they are mild, and oper ate without disturbance to the constitution or diet or occupation. Full directions are gi ven on the wrapper to each b o x , how to use them as a Family Physic, and for the follow in g com plaints, which these R ills rapidly cu re : — F or J iy a p e i M * » or I n d i g - e s t i o n , E ,jst. li-.ssn e ss , H nsum «»«", and IL oss o f t i t » , thev should be taken moderately ts stimulate the stom ach, and restore its healthy tone and action. . F or J L iv o r C o m p l a i n t and its various symwtoms, FSilaom * S l c a i l a c f e e , Sseít E2cii«5a£sas-, J a n n í l l c c or G r e e n S fc k . jiivwr-i, C o l i c and JK í I íomi » 3fe- they should he ju d iciou sly taken for •each case, to correct, the diseased action, or rem ove the obstructions which cause it. For JD ys'enti'i-.v or E S iarrliss*«!, but ono mild dose, is generally required. F or HSL'.'EimntssitB, Í J m it , G r a v « ] , J P u S p s ra tio n o f tS»<e H e a r t , l Ba in in í;j¡e 5S5 j 1«‘ , I S a c l i , and L o i n » , they should be continuously taken, as required, to change the diseased action o f the system . With such change those com plaints disappear. For S&ropny and SlifOjMical Snell- issg-M, they should be taken in large and fre quent doses to produce the effect o f a (hastio purge. For S s ijip n e s s io n , a large dose should be taken as it p rodu ces the desired cifect by sympathy. A s a D in n er R ill, take one or two Rills to prom ote digestion, and relieve the stomach. An occasional (lose stimulates the stomach and bow els, restores the appetite, and invigor ates the system . H ence it is often advanta geous where no serious derangem ent exists. One who feels tolerably w ell, often finds that a dose o f these R ills "makes him feel decid* edlv better, from their cleansing and reno vating effect on the digestive apparatus. Sold by all D ru g gists and D ealers in Medicines. 0. K. BOGART, PETER H. BURNETT Cashier. President. all Lands purchased of J. M. Boyd, or other persons, in the SontheastQuarter of Section Seventeen, in Township Nine South; and Forty East, commonly known as Baker City, and Boyd’s Addition, and which is Millionaires are called “ rich men” situated in Baker county, Oregon, (if said in New York, and none others may Boyd, or other person, has not first secured expect this felicitous title. A half the title of the undersigned to the same) millionaire is said to be “ well off and is voidable, and will be taken from you with out any pay or reward for improvements, independent.” A $250,0Q0gman is and you are further notified that there has “ very comfortable.” Place the fig been no final decision, even in the Land ures at $100,000 and the owner is a Office, against me, on merit, as to my title “ small man;” under $50,000 he is to said lands. All that decision went to, was the point that my Attorneys did not make “ poor,” while a $25,000 man is such to tne appeal m proper season, as ordered by a poor devil as to be unworthy of me. Suit will be_ instituted in proper time mention. to recover^all of said land and improvements In the R ou n d off Methodist church on a recent Sunday morning the usu al donning of overcoats was proceed ing amid considerable confusion, but had not been completed when the pastor, Rev. J. J. Dean, arose to pronounce the benediction. He paused a moment and said: Breth- ern, I guess I will put on my over coat, hereafter during tbe benedic tion, so as to not lose any time. IN FROM ONE TO TW ENTY MINUTES, matter how violont or excruciating the pain the RHEU- - ATIC, Bed-ridden, Infirm, Crippled, Nervous, Neuralgi , prostrated with disease may suffer, % HAS MADE THE MOST ASTONISHING CURES; SO QUICK, SO RAPID ARE THE CHANGES THE BODY UNDERGOES, UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF THIS TRULY WONDERFUL MEDICINE, THAT Kalakua, at last advices, was back in Honolulu, skirmishing around the bar-rooms trying to borrow a quarter and wondering if there is to be found under the bright canopy of heaven such a choice lot of fools and flunkeys as those he met in the country he has just visited. The St. Louis Globe tries to make its subscribers willing to die by pre dicting the approach of the time when Wagner shall draw the themes for his operas from Bancroft’s histo ries. Imagine Washington singing, “ I cannot tell a lie, father,” in a m i nor key, with a drum accompaniment representing the blows of the hatchet. H O U R SUFFER WITH PAIN. If you should tell a Vermont man that carrying six black beans in bis vest pocket wouldn’t keep contagious diseases away, he would set you down as one who believed the world was flat. Josh Billings says: “ If you are going to give a man anything, give it to him cheerfully and quick, don’t make him get down on his knees in front of j7ou and listen to the fen commandments and then .give him five cents.” Q f^lE After reading this advertisement need anyone Little Rhody proposes to have her census taken. That’s easy e n o u g h - let the people stand up and be coun ted. It is noted that all great humorists are sober and sedate, with a melan choly cast of countenance. It is rather serious busines to be funny. The Cleveland'Herald stands up for three card monte men. Some folk when they have scraped a little money together, forget old friends. Ayer’s Cathartic P ills , R R R for so long a time have been draining the life blood of the people. To these we trust the Grangers will show no quarter. Four-fifths of the evils of which the farming community now complain are referable to our infamous tariff and patent laws, tbe injustice of which is now being so clearly Remonstrated.that they may well be denominated a patent fraud. ------------ --------- ---------— * G o o d . —When Postmaster-General Cresswell left the Cabinet, in con sequence of the pressure of his pri vate affairs, as bjh friends declared, but, as is more generally believed, for fear that his complicity in the straw bid aud straw contract frauds would be disclosed, President Grant appointed him counsel of the United States.before the Alabama Claims Commission, and also a.Commission er to wind up the bankrupt Freed- men’s Savings Bank, it being desira ble to have an intimate friend of tfie White House Ring in the last-named office in order to prevent unpleasant revelations As counsel before the Alabama Claims Commission it was intended that Cresswell should have a remuneration which would reward him well for his devotion to the Ad ministration, as he was to be paid by fees for each case in which he should appear, these being unlimited by law. Some of his acquaintances p ri vately boasted that his fees would amount to nearly half a million. In the.Sundry Civil Appropriation bill, however, an amendment was inserted in the Senate by which his compen sation as counsel is limited to $8,000 which is very liberal pay for such services as he isTikely to render, and thus Boss Grant’s nice scheme lo r giving his friend a fortune at the ex pense of the Alabama claimants, who would have-had to pay his fees, was nipped in the bud.' This was hard for Cresswell, and his misfortune will undoubtedly insure him the un bounded sympathy of all the Ring mail contractors who were depleting the Treasury dfiring his term of office as Postmaster-General. r p H E *J N I> E R S I«N E I> w o u ld aib+r.Iie+SI,efitfully give notice to all- those in. debted to them, that they must call and set- isettiee.C0“ Pelled to Baker City, R oy , 2^ 18^Rn29t^IqCDBD' m s s Primary Department, per Quarter, Preparatory and Academic, o Latin. Extra, $: 1 French, E?pp, Other Higher Branches in proportion Tuition Invariably in ADVANCE. A. H. BROWN, Preside: W m . E . M c C r a r y , Sec’y. nl Notice to tie Pile. On and after May 20th, 1872, flip fp st O f fice hours will he from 9 a. m. to 7 p. m.— Sundays excepted. Open on Sundays from 9 to 10 a. m. and 5 to 6 p. m. GEO. H. TRACY, p . y,